Friday, July 06, 2012

Chemo brain......that's what we have

I've heard this a number of times in the last few days; "I don't remember because of Chemo brain."

At least all the patients seem to know that they have it. I don't have it and yet I want to use it as my excuse for mistakes made. Could it be contagious? Could it be lack of sleep, heat, hunger, anxiety and frustration?

Whatever it is, I lost my cool today.

I made the mistake of parking in a handicap accessible space. What made it even worse, it was at a local grocery store I frequent all the time. Should I know better? Yes. (I usually park well away from the store entrance.) But I honestly didn't see the markings on the ground while looking for them as I was parking. Amazed that there were spaces available close to the door also should have clued me in.

Anyway, ice cream was on sale at Foodland! After Kirk's long session of chemo, radiation and drive home from London, our thoughts of having a cool one was priority. So, I raced into town and purchased four different flavours. Upon returning to my car I was met by an aggressive woman stating "people with disabilities need these spaces!" I couldn't agree more. But an apology of not seeing the markings was obviously not enough for this woman.

She kept on... I apologized some more and then I lost it. I didn't know what she wanted from me. I yelled at her "Give me a break woman, I've spent all morning at flipping cancer clinic. I made a mistake." Got in my car a tore out of the parking lot.

Anger is a dangerous thing. I know it. Maybe someday I'll see her again and apologize again. If I recognize her?

The incident did get me to apply for a Handicap Parking Permit. Next time Kirk is coming with me when he is in need of a cold one right away.


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